post-Tour Blues: How to cope with transitioning back into the “Real-World” After drum corps ends
The day after DCI Finals, I remember driving home in the backseat of my parents car feeling disoriented and extremely sad. It felt so weird not to get back on the bus. The absence of the people I had shared every day with, 24 hours a day, for the past three months was painful. Texts between friends were filled with “this feels so weird! I miss you! Never thought I’d miss sleeping on a bus, lol”.
On the way home after DCI Finals 2011
It truly hit home that the season was over when I took a shower the next day and realized how strange and lonely it felt – even stranger was my reaction to it. I never thought I could actually feel lonely while showering! Over the next few weeks, I had many more moments where I realized just how different the drum corps world felt from the real world. More than once, I forgot to put a shirt on before going outside and didn’t realize it until people were staring at me, deciding on a meal became oddly complicated, I missed drumming, and the newfound unstructured time was daunting.
Simply put, I was lost. My identity had become so intertwined with being a member of the corps and performing, that I had forgotten who I was outside of that. As autumn settled in, my struggle to muster motivation took its toll – even for something I loved like college marching band. That semester was the worst I ever performed academically which was very unlike me.
Looking back, I wish there had been someone to assure me that what I was experiencing was normal and there were things I could do to prevent it from turning into depression, which is why I wrote this article. I hope you realize that you're not alone, there's nothing amiss about your feelings, and most importantly, support is available.
This blog post will cover:
what is post-tour blues?
contributing factors
tips for coping with post-tour blues
how to be proactive for next year
post-tour blues vs. post-tour depression
special note for those who had a negative experience
Drum corps is one of those things that is really hard to “get” unless you’re a part of the marching arts community. We pay thousands of dollars to rehearse 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 3 months straight while sleeping on a bus and gym floors across the country. Not exactly how most young people would choose to spend their summer.
But you’re not most people. You live for the thrill of performing; of pushing yourself to the limit in order to achieve a level of excellence only possible from thousands of hours of rigorous practice.
Your friends outside of the activity are perplexed at why you would choose to do something so physically and mentally grueling.
…but they’ve never known the rush of flying across the field at 180+bpm, flawlessly executing a 12-minute show with a level of power and precision seen only in elite athletes; with a level of emotional expression only seen in the highest levels of the performing arts. All of the blood, sweat, and tears you’ve put in pays off when you hit that last dot in the closer for the last time - the roar from the crowd penetrating your chest, sweat dripping down your face, adrenaline pumping through your veins. In this moment, you’ve never felt more alive. And knowing that your fellow performers are feeling the same way amplifies your sense of accomplishment and connectedness.
This collective passion and effort toward a singular goal all day, every day for 3 months straight creates a profound sense of purpose and feeling like you are part of something bigger than yourself. So when the season ends, it is no surprise that you may feel a deep sense of sadness and a general feeling of, “what do I do now?”
what is “post-tour blues”?
Post-tour blues, (also known as post-season blues or post-competition blues in the sports world), is when an elite athlete/performer experiences an emotional come-down after their peak competitive season comes to a close.
You may experience things like:
mood swings
changes in sleep and appetite
crying spells
irritability
fatigue
sadness
feelings of overwhelm
loss of purpose/identity (who am I outside of being a performer?)
Upon your first few days at home, it is normal to experience mixed emotions. On one hand, it feels amazing to finally sleep in your own bed and get some well-deserved rest. On the other hand, you may feel really sad and maybe even a little lost. Suddenly you don’t get to share every moment with the people you've been inseparable from and make music with all day. The laser focus on a single goal you had over the summer gives way to the demands of the "real world" – school, work, bills. This abrupt shift in routine can cause a sense of emptiness and uncertainty.
factors contributing to post-tour blues
1. Change in Biological Rhythms / Daily Physical Activity
It may be helpful to consider the impact that a change in biological rhythms and physical activity can have on our mental functioning. For instance, your body has grown accustomed to a specific amount of daily physical activity, leading to the release of "feel-good" hormones like oxytocin and endorphins. If you go home and suddenly aren’t getting as much physical exercise, your mental wellness will be impacted. So - try to keep active!
2. Change in Cognitive Demands
Another factor contributing to the post-tour blues, specifically the feelings of overwhelm, is the cognitive fatigue caused by having to rely on your executive functioning in ways that you haven’t had to while on tour.
Executive functions are set of mental skills controlled by the frontal lobe of the brain that help us to plan ahead, prioritize, juggle multiple tasks, follow-through on goals, and regulate our emotions.
While on tour, many everyday demands on your executive functioning skills are significantly reduced. Your schedule is made for you, meals are provided, you’re even told what to wear and how to behave! So, in addition to navigating the culture shock upon returning home, there's a potential cognitive adjustment as well. Suddenly, a part of your brain that has remained relatively dormant in recent months is called into action, resulting in mental fatigue and feelings of frustration.
So if you are having a lot of difficulty with seemingly simple tasks like planning your daily schedule, deciding on meals, or juggling multiple responsibilities, know that this is not uncommon and there is a reasonable explanation.
**This will be even more challenging for those who have ADHD or other neurological differences that impact their executive functioning. If you fall into this category, make sure to be extra gentle on yourself and rely on your support systems.
Tips for Coping with Post-Tour Blues:
Stay connected to tour mates
Thank goodness for Facetime! Make an effort to keep in touch with your closest friends from the summer. If they live in the area, plan to hang out together. If they don’t, maybe schedule a weekly Facetime date with them!
Build structure into your daily routine
This doesn’t have to be as meticulous as your schedule was on tour, but giving yourself a sense of structure in your daily routine will help keep you active and reduce any feelings of overwhelm. This is especially important in the gap of time after the season ends and before college classes resume. Try to create a routine that includes healthy lifestyle choices such as getting good sleep and nutrition.
Explore activities outside of music that bring you joy and a sense of purpose
This is a big one and actually very important for all musicians to do regularly in order to have a sense of identity outside of music. I really wish someone would have told me this because it was extremely difficult for me to figure out who I was outside of band/drumline when I graduated college. This resulted in somewhat of an identity crisis and led to depression. If you start exploring now while you are still actively performing, you will have a much easier time transitioning after you age-out, especially if you are pursuing non-music careers. This can be a great opportunity to explore other creative pursuits that allow you to express yourself and connect with others.
Stay physically active
If you’re in college marching band, this is a great way to stay active. However, if you aren’t, try exploring some different ways to get exercise outside of band. Perhaps you join an intramural team for volleyball or flag football. Maybe you join a yoga studio. Rockclimbing? Parkour?! The possibilities are endless! Find something you enjoy and dedicate some time to it.
Practice resting/relaxing
As high-performers coming off a 3 month stretch of intensive training and performing, we aren’t so good with the resting. You may feel like you constantly need to be doing doing doing something when you get home from tour. I want to encourage you to consider rest and relaxing as equally important to being productive. Yes, really! This is very hard for us to embrace in our productivity-obsessed society, but now more than ever, your body does need (and deserve) some quality R&R. Try taking a bath! Get a massage! Unplug your phone and read a book! Whatever relaxing looks like to you.
Engage in a reflective exercise to process emotions
Everything was so fast-paced and intense on tour that you barely had time to think! Engaging in a creative outlet of some sort can be a helpful tool to slow down, reflect on the summer, and process your emotions. Scrapbooking can be a really fun way to do this, or maybe you make a photo collage and send it to your friend. Journaling and writing letters is also a great outlet. When you are doing this, it is important to let yourself feel all of your feelings. If you feel sad, let yourself be sad. If you feel happy thinking about a funny memory, write that memory down so you can revisit it later.
Look forward to your next endeavor
If you marched drum corps, you are clearly a goal-oriented, high-achieving person. So, if you do not have a goal you are working toward or just something meaningful coming up in your life to look forward to, think about what you could do to change that. Your goal to be to a run a marathon, or to simply rest for 20 minutes a day. Whatever it is, it has to be meaningful and motivating for you.
how to be proactive about the post-tour blues next season
You may be wondering if there is anything you can do to prevent this from happening next year.
The answer is yes! Even if you can’t entirely prevent experiencing post-tour blues, you can likely decrease the intensity of it by implementing a few strategies:
Before move-ins, do as much pre-planning as you possibly can to lessen the cognitive demand required for everyday tasks when you get home.
Live in the moment as much as possible during tour so that you can go home knowing you truly did get as much as you possibly could from the experience, and have no regrets.
Just being aware that you may feel these things after the season and that it is a normal experience may help make it less distressing.
Make a plan ahead of time toward the end of the season to talk to a couple of your closest friends regularly. Plan a weekly Facetime hang so it’s a priority.
Relish in all of the things you can do now that you are not on tour! Sleep in? Do it! Binge a Netflix show? Go for it!
Is Post-Tour Blues the same as post-tour depression?
No. Although used interchangeably, post-season blues and post-season depression are two different things. Post-season blues “have an identifiable trigger, last just a few weeks, and can usually be surmounted with the help of time, a new physical goal, and perspective” (Kassel, 2022).
However, depression is a medical condition that can be very disabling if not treated. If it’s been a few weeks since the season ended and you are still feeling very down or your symptoms are actually getting worse, you may be at-risk for or experiencing clinical depression. In this way, it is possible for post-tour blues to lead to post-tour depression, but the two should not be used interchangeably. Keep in mind that you are also at a higher-risk of becoming depressed after tour if you have a history of depression, so you will have to take extra care of yourself during this time.
Some symptoms of depression to look out for:
depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day
significant loss of pleasure from activities you used to enjoy
feelings of worthlessness
excessive guilt and rumination (repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings)
loss of energy and motivation
difficulty concentrating or remembering things
suicidal thoughts
If you are experiencing these symptoms, please seek support from a mental health professional, your doctor, or at the very least, a trusted friend or family member. Depression is a very painful experience, and it is even more painful trying to deal with it on your own. Your support person(s) can help you through this hard time and get proper treatment (yes, depression is treatable!)
According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression is one of the most treatable mental health conditions with 80-90% of people responding to treatment and almost all getting at least some relief from their symptoms.
If you are not sure if you are experiencing symptoms of depression and are on the fence about seeing your doctor, a helpful decision-making tool can be to take a depression screener. I recommend this free depression screener available on Mental Health America’s website.
***One caveat about screeners; they are just that. Screeners. This means that they are not diagnostic tools. Their purpose is to identify if a person is at-risk for a particular disorder and importantly, can indicate a need for further assessment. This can be useful information to bring to your doctor’s appointment.
a note for those who had a negative experience
I wouldn’t feel right publishing this if I didn’t address the fact that not everyone who marches drum corps is lucky enough to have a great experience. Any experience in life is rarely all bad or all good, so even if the majority of the time you were miserable, you likely still made friends and had some positive experiences - which only makes the post-tour blues even more complicated and difficult to navigate.
I was one of these people. While I did have some positive experiences and grow a lot as a drummer, overall, I did not have a positive experience. Most of the time I was just trying to get through every day. I dealt with sexual harassment, verbal abuse, and serious injury that I ended up needing surgery for later that year. I pushed through it all and finished the season out, but these difficult experiences just made my post-season blues even more complicated.
So, if you are one of these people, just know that your feelings are valid, whatever they are, even if it is anger. Maybe it is anger that is finally coming to the surface after having to keep it shoved down all summer just to get through every day. If you experienced any trauma including harassment or abuse, I strongly recommend working with a qualified mental health provider to get support and work on healing.
The post-season blues can be even more challenging to deal with for performers who had to deal with harassment, abuse, or injury/illness over the summer.
Final thoughts
Experiencing post-tour blues is a testament to the depth of your commitment and passion for your craft. Know that it is okay to feel a sense of detachment and longing or whatever other emotions you are feeling. As you transition back into the “real-world”, remind yourself that it will take time for your body and brain to adjust to a new routine. Know that you are not alone in this and that you should start feeling better within a few weeks at the most.
references
Elite Athletes and Treating Post-Competition Depression; by Ronda Wimmer, PhD, CSCS, ATC; Sports/Exercise/Fitness Section of Acupuncture Today
Stress of the Off-Season May Be Greater for the Student-Athlete than during Competition: A Pilot Study; Journal of Behavioral and Brain Science; July 2017; DiClementi, Jeannie D.
Postseason Blues: Coping with the End of the Season; by Lilia Farach, 2023, 2aDays Blog
The Dark Side of Going for Gold; by John Florio and Ouisie Shapiro; The Atlantic, Aug. 2016
Post-Competition Blues: Don’t Let Them Get You Down!by Andrew Hamilton; Sports Performance Bulletin